We're sometimes asked how we manage to stay happy and stay together so long when we both were divorced from our first mates.  The following is a set of "rules" we agreed upon while we were still "just friends;" and they have served us well:

~~Never part from each other without kissing each other “goodbye,” and greet each  other with a smile and a kiss--because God brought you back together again.  (This applies even if you’re just going out to the store and back again.)

~~Never complain about each other’s messes!  If they really bother you, give each other a place to put his/her stuff. 

~~If you have a disagreement (and it’s not worth a divorce), let him/her have his/her way and say that you reserve the right to say “I told you so!” (but never say it.)  Each person has the right to be “right” only 3 times a month.  After that, shut up and smile!  The next month starts over.

~~Talk to each other about your expectations (i.e,. who takes out the trash, does the gardening, cleans the house, puts dirty laundry in the hamper, etc., etc.  Whoever criticizes the way the other does a routine task gets to take over the task permanently.

~~Money.  Keep separate bank accounts.  This is a must!  You then agree on who pays what.

~~When you’re unhappy or dissatisfied with little idiosyncrasies of the other, don’t be afraid to say so.  Chances are that the other wasn’t aware of this.

~~Say “Please” and “Thank you” even for the smallest of favors you do for each other--even for what you expect such as taking out the trash or cooking dinner.  Say “I love you today” five days a week--leave two days for guessing.

~~You should each take time to pursue your own interests and hobbies.  Don’t spend all your efforts trying to please each other.  Give each other time freedom.

~~Take time to be together exploring activities you enjoy doing together.  Take a least one vacation week together that doesn’t include visiting family.

SMILE A LOT!